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Wedding Blog

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Here’s How Professional Matchmakers Work – It May Surprise You!


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Professional matchmaking was once a service only available to rich men and women with disposable income. Only the elite had someone else sort through the choppy waters of the dating pool on their behalf.

Many professional matchmakers – including New York’s Janis Spindel – work exclusively with male clients, and the standard business model was largely built on the premise of bringing potential brides to rich, single men. Research says that the customer base of most professional matchmakers services is comprised of 60 percent woman, and many of them are working class women.

Matchmakers attract clients in one of two ways. People will seek them out through advertisements, online searches, or word of mouth. And matchmakers will proactively recruit wedding-band-free singles at parties, high-end restaurants, airports, and other places where affluent adults meet. The more exclusive the establishments and clubs that your professional matchmaker frequents, the better your chances of finding someone as refined and worthwhile as you are.

Before potential clients buy an official membership, professional matchmakers will often conduct an initial consultation – typically for a nonrefundable fee – to determine compatibility and understand the client’s desires.

From there, the official process begins! New clients pay their initial membership dues. Upon completing the candidate’s extensive profile-the definitive guide used in every step of the process – the matchmaker begins making potential selections from a pool of other eligible candidates.

As the matchmakers pour through the candidate pool to find ideal suitors, clients may undergo additional prep work to prepare them for the dating process as instructed by the matchmaker. Particularly with higher-end services (such as Perfect 12 Introductions), professional matchmakers will also function as dating coaches, teaching clients how to spark conversation, maintain a strategic distance from precarious points, and steer them far from contrary relational propensities –, for example, exorbitantly discussing themselves as opposed to concentrating on the other individual.

Makeovers may also be recommended, and image consultants may assist clients with sprucing up their wardrobes and addressing minor unflattering physical attributes (such as hairstyles). To ensure compatibility, professional matchmakers do a background check to determine family background, educational background, hobbies, interests, religious standings, and more. Every task completed during this phase ensures that the stage is set to flow absolutely perfectly into the dating phase.

Getting clients into the dating mix differs, depending on the matchmaker’s approach. Some serve as escorts to parties and introduce them around to appropriate singles; others may arrange events specifically for clients to meet a number of men and women on their dating schedule.

After a first date, the matchmaker checks in with each party to find out how things went from both perspectives. This allows the matchmaker to gauge whether a client needs more coaching or if the match is ready to move forward to the next level. The best possible scenario happens if – after only a few matches – two candidates confirm that they share a strong and committed interest in the other party. While the newly joined couple don’t necessary waltz down the aisle right away, they’re given the time, space, and opportunity to get to know each other on a deeper level. Rarely, after getting to know each other, a couple may realize that their partner is not necessarily what they’re looking for. This is entirely okay! The matchmaker’s job is to ensure a deep, committed, and confident relationship at every phase. This prevents a premature vow of commitment – for instance, engagement to marry – through a series of “reality checks” to ensure the hearts of both parties are fully involved.

Highly experienced professional matchmakers boast an average ‘courtship period’ of six months or less. However more time may be necessary depending on the client. Candidates who require additional time are met with extraordinary patience and understanding by the matchmaker. In very rare cases, some candidates determine for themselves that they aren’t quite ready for the dating pool. Their contract is put on pause, and they’re welcomed back to the services of the matchmaking agency after they take their time ensuring that they’re ready to find love.

A high-end, professional matchmaking service is a well-oiled machine in which the matchmaker effectively navigates through an otherwise confusing field of hundreds of variables in order to ensure that two hearts ultimately find true love.